This is a very long and sappy Facebook wall post that I sent to my best friend in the whole world, Colleen Rose Slattery. I had to chop it up into portions and send it separately because Facebook didn't want to post more than 1,000 characters at a time. It's the late-night ramblings of a lonely, sad, and nostalgic girl. It lacks any real structure or direction, but I thought I would put it here anyway because it qualifies as Juby's Jargon.
The problem with people is that we don't like change. Except, I want things to change, and I don't. I kind of can't wait for college, but I'm scared of what it will do. I'm going nuts. I need more friends, which means more people to talk to, because currently whenever I want to talk to someone, it's either you or... well, mostly just you, and soon you'll be gone. Then I'll be alone, talking to myself, and that's never healthy. Also, you're not a late-night person, so when it's about 11pm and I need to talk to someone, I have to write on your Facebook wall, like I'm doing right now. That's okay, though. I know you have a life, and tomorrow you're going to wake up early to spend quality time with your family and their... vegetables. Then you'll go for a crazy run because you're awesome like that. I have nothing important to say. I'm just saying stuff to give me something to do. Blah, blah, blah, just writing on here so I don't feel so alone.
I feel I will implode. You are great, though. I will miss you very much. I already miss you very much and I just saw you recently. You aren't even gone yet, but you feel so distant. Why is the world such a big place? Why are all of our favorite people so far away? Across the state, across the country, across the continent, across the ocean, across the great big world... I've seen a bit of that world, and now I don't know where I belong anymore. When we were little, I used to think that you lived sooo far away from me. A whole hour's ride in a car. Funny how an hour seemed like such a long time... I only saw you about once a month, if that often. I remember there were times when we went more than a month without calling or talking to each other, but I always felt like I knew we'd still be friends and we still existed for each other, even if we weren't in constant communication.
When you leave for Texas, I will treasure those days when we were young and you were ultra-competitive and liked to beat me at everything. I'll remember the fights we had and how foolish we were. I'll remember how I was always so jealous of you, your life, your family, your good-looks, your athletics, and the fact that you'd spend so much time with other friends (and the fact that you HAD that many other friends). Yes, I'll admit, I coveted your friendship. Sometimes I still do. I'll remember the King Gregory fight, the Alabama Trip (Eureka!), the Great Brownie Battle of 1.5 ratios times 2/3rds of a cup, using Matt as the Designated Dancer at prom, our failed attempt at becoming blood sisters on New Years that night...
I'll remember the funny sayings we had, all the funny things we did and promised we'd remember, but in the end the fact that we forgot was just as funny as whatever had happened in the first place. Do you remember being 10 years old and how we used to talk about growing up and going to college and we thought it was going to take FOREVER? I thought we'd never get here. Now it seems it went so quickly. I know it sounds cliché, but I don't want to grow up. I want to lie on the trampoline with you again at night and stare at the stars and talk about where we'll be in 10 years. I want to talk to you about the boys we liked, the boys we currently like, the boys we will like, and the boys we think we'll probably end up with. I remember how we used to talk about buying houses next to each other so that when we grew up our kids could play and become best friends like us.
Truth is; I know that over the next few years we'll grow distant. We'll have separate lives, very far away from each other, doing separate things. We might end up in different countries. You might even get a new best friend, but I'm okay with that. We'll always have our childhood and our goofy, quirky memories that nobody else can ever understand. We know what it's like to evolve and change together. New people in our lives from now on will only see the more mature version that we've become, but I will know how you were, who you were, and what you've grown to appreciate that you didn't before. Maybe someday we'll stop talking, and then one day we'll look back and say, "Oh, yeah! I remember that girl! She was my best friend..." We'll have stories to tell our children and our grandchildren.
Just know that wherever you are and whatever you're doing, I will be with you in mind, heart, and spirit; laughing with you, crying with you... acting absolutely immature and ridiculous with you just so that we feel better... I love you, my gorgeous soul-sister. Take care at Dallas and live it up without me! :)
The problem with people is that we don't like change. Except, I want things to change, and I don't. I kind of can't wait for college, but I'm scared of what it will do. I'm going nuts. I need more friends, which means more people to talk to, because currently whenever I want to talk to someone, it's either you or... well, mostly just you, and soon you'll be gone. Then I'll be alone, talking to myself, and that's never healthy. Also, you're not a late-night person, so when it's about 11pm and I need to talk to someone, I have to write on your Facebook wall, like I'm doing right now. That's okay, though. I know you have a life, and tomorrow you're going to wake up early to spend quality time with your family and their... vegetables. Then you'll go for a crazy run because you're awesome like that. I have nothing important to say. I'm just saying stuff to give me something to do. Blah, blah, blah, just writing on here so I don't feel so alone.
I feel I will implode. You are great, though. I will miss you very much. I already miss you very much and I just saw you recently. You aren't even gone yet, but you feel so distant. Why is the world such a big place? Why are all of our favorite people so far away? Across the state, across the country, across the continent, across the ocean, across the great big world... I've seen a bit of that world, and now I don't know where I belong anymore. When we were little, I used to think that you lived sooo far away from me. A whole hour's ride in a car. Funny how an hour seemed like such a long time... I only saw you about once a month, if that often. I remember there were times when we went more than a month without calling or talking to each other, but I always felt like I knew we'd still be friends and we still existed for each other, even if we weren't in constant communication.
When you leave for Texas, I will treasure those days when we were young and you were ultra-competitive and liked to beat me at everything. I'll remember the fights we had and how foolish we were. I'll remember how I was always so jealous of you, your life, your family, your good-looks, your athletics, and the fact that you'd spend so much time with other friends (and the fact that you HAD that many other friends). Yes, I'll admit, I coveted your friendship. Sometimes I still do. I'll remember the King Gregory fight, the Alabama Trip (Eureka!), the Great Brownie Battle of 1.5 ratios times 2/3rds of a cup, using Matt as the Designated Dancer at prom, our failed attempt at becoming blood sisters on New Years that night...
I'll remember the funny sayings we had, all the funny things we did and promised we'd remember, but in the end the fact that we forgot was just as funny as whatever had happened in the first place. Do you remember being 10 years old and how we used to talk about growing up and going to college and we thought it was going to take FOREVER? I thought we'd never get here. Now it seems it went so quickly. I know it sounds cliché, but I don't want to grow up. I want to lie on the trampoline with you again at night and stare at the stars and talk about where we'll be in 10 years. I want to talk to you about the boys we liked, the boys we currently like, the boys we will like, and the boys we think we'll probably end up with. I remember how we used to talk about buying houses next to each other so that when we grew up our kids could play and become best friends like us.
Truth is; I know that over the next few years we'll grow distant. We'll have separate lives, very far away from each other, doing separate things. We might end up in different countries. You might even get a new best friend, but I'm okay with that. We'll always have our childhood and our goofy, quirky memories that nobody else can ever understand. We know what it's like to evolve and change together. New people in our lives from now on will only see the more mature version that we've become, but I will know how you were, who you were, and what you've grown to appreciate that you didn't before. Maybe someday we'll stop talking, and then one day we'll look back and say, "Oh, yeah! I remember that girl! She was my best friend..." We'll have stories to tell our children and our grandchildren.
Just know that wherever you are and whatever you're doing, I will be with you in mind, heart, and spirit; laughing with you, crying with you... acting absolutely immature and ridiculous with you just so that we feel better... I love you, my gorgeous soul-sister. Take care at Dallas and live it up without me! :)
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